As I browsed through our local paper this morning, an old ritual that I now cherish when I have the time, I came across a column in our Neighborhood News section. At first, I confess that I found myself becoming somewhat incensed by what I thought to be the author's audacity of comparing her friend's loss of her husband of over 50 years to the pain she felt after carpal tunnel surgery on her hand.
What the...? How can you possibly liken the loss of a spouse to the temporary loss of the use of one's hand?
But then I read on, and Therese Park's perspective was truly one of empathy. She said that she learned that:
"the love and trust between man and wife is similar to that of my two hands, and that losing one's spouse is the same tragedy as one hand losing its partner. The only difference between these two cases is that a person can lose a hand and can still live a full life, but the empty space one spouse leaves in another's life will never be filled."
While I certainly agree with Park's empathetic statement above (regarding the empty space), I still had a little trouble with the first part of it (that "losing one's spouse is the same tragedy as one hand losing its partner"). In any case, I can see the parallels she drew, and the column hit me at a time when a friend of mine has experienced the death of a parent, and the other parent is coping with this very loss - the loss of a spouse of over 50 years. At times like these, I am always taken back to the loss of my own mother, almost 20 years ago -- and how very grief-stricken my father was at that time. Each time a friend goes through this same loss, all of those wounds seem afresh to me.
To those of you out there who still have your mommies, hug them tight this Mother's Day. They won't always be there. I recognize that parental relationships are not always easy, but when a parent is gone, they are gone forever. My advice? Take the time to honor and cherish your mother this weekend. You'll be glad you did.
Balanced Babe - Molly Wendland
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