A Mother's Balancing Act

Rihanna, Don't Do It

Aside from the obvious knee-jerk response of my headline above, I find myself contemplating Rihanna's recent reconciliation with batterer Chris Brown disheartening on so many levels. Many of you know that I serve on a coalition for a local domestic violence shelter for women and their children. The primary purpose of our group is to raise awareness about domestic abuse in an effort to stop the abuse before it even happens. Education results in prevention. It's been proven time and again.

Until this week, I hadn't realized that little kids (like 4 and 5 year olds) are talking about this incident on playgrounds. No, I am not exaggerating. They have heard about this from their older siblings, in after school care, day care and when the news is on. Perhaps they've even overheard their parents talking about it over a nice glass of wine.

The point is, little kids know that their hero from Nickelodeon and Sesame Street (yes, Chris Brown has made numerous appearances on Sesame Street) beat up his girlfriend. And now, as if that wasn't bad enough, Rihanna has taken him back.

The message to the kids out there?

It's OK to beat up your girlfriend as long as you're sorry you did it afterward.

As a celebrity, Rihanna had (and perhaps even still does if she wakes up and kicks Brown's butt to the curb), the opportunity to make a huge impact on young people in our society -- both male and female. I know she's practically still a kid herself, but in taking Brown back, Rihanna just set us back about 25 years on the domestic violence awareness campaign.

Rihanna, dump that sorry sleazbag, and move on. No one deserves to be hit. And he didn't do it once or even twice. He beat the living daylights out of you.

Kick him to the curb. Today.

And parents? Talk to your kids. They know more than you think. And less than you think. Check out the resources below for some conversation starters. You'll be glad you did.

Balanced Babe (aka Molly Wendland)

Some Resources that May Be Useful to You:

Tips for Parents

How To Talk To Your Children About Healthy Relationships Handbook

Resources For Parents

How To Talk To Your Teens Handbook

Teen Dating Violence Survey Results

Communicating with Teens About Dating Violence

And check out my writing partner over at White Trash Mom's post on this same subject. Michelle has some great links to awesome info.

Creepy Guys Suck!

That's right. The title of this post pretty much sums it up in a nutshell. Creepy guys give the rest of the good guys - like my BSM (that's Big Strong Man for those of you just joining us...) - a bad rep.

I was doing some shopping yesterday outside of the pristine suburban (no, not so very plastic, thank you very much!) bubble that we live in. My girls need costumes for a party this weekend, so I thought that perhaps, the thrift stores might be just the ticket for an old prom dress or some such thing. Normally, this type of shopping trip wouldn't phase me at all. In fact, I find them to be a challenge.

I had gone to an client appointment in the morning, even though I had the day off, so I was dressed in a nice skirt, blouse and cardigan sweater. I had on some of my favorite, newer peep-toe shoes with a kitten heel, but I have to say, "peep-toe's" are not an invitation to every weirdo crackpot in the city to come on to me. Um, yeah...but I digress...

So, I had already endured leering eyes from yucky guys in two thrift stores when I came upon a Big Lots. The one in our neighborhood recently went out of business, so I decided to pop in. Long story short, a creepy dude proceeded to tail me, make eyes at me every chance he got and tail me through the store the entire time I was there. To the point that he sufficiently freaked my crud out. After he slinked onto the aisle I was on (after I had zigged and zagged a couple of times to shake loose of him) yet again, I got fed up and headed to the checkout with my shopping cart. The whole time, he never had a cart or any products in his hands.

When I got to checkout, I calmly told the cashier about my experience and asked if there was someone who might escort me to my car. I told her I just thought you needed to trust your instinct in these situations. She nodded appreciatively and immediately called a guy up to her register to help me to my car. I had been thinking of the self-defense class my daughters and I had taken where they said to never have both of your hands full when walking in a parking lot. Within moments of me relaying my story, Creepy Dude slinked up behind me (one of 3 registers available at the time), and I quietly let the cashier know that he was "the one". He was now carrying a large metal spoon and some other small item. The nice gentleman carried my items to my car for me as I told him of my experience in their store and that they might want to watch out for that guy who was coming out behind us.

The store employee told me he'd be watching until I got out of the lot, etc. Creepy Dude came out of the store and stood there and watched us the whole time. Then, he headed to a bicycle that was parked in front of the store.

Perhaps, he was just mentally ill. Or perhaps, he was going to just leave his bike there and force me into my car to violate me or even just steal my car.

I don't know. Any way around it...

Creepy guys suck.

Balanced Babe - (aka Molly Wendland)

Note: For a look at my oh-so-sexy peep-toe's, click here. They're the ones in the middle of the shot of three pairs. And yes, I do kind of have a little bit of a fetish. Sort of like the chick in the book to movie "In Her Shoes". I don't always even wear them. Fun movie, by the way. Even better book!

Extra note after the fact: I've been laughing when I tell this story to my friends. You know, how I attract the best-looking 50 year old guys with comb-over's of anyone I know and stuff like that? So, it's funny now, but this Creeper really did freak me out, and I was afraid to walk to my car alone...in broad daylight. And that does suck. In particular as a mother of two teenage daughters and an advocate for domestic violence awareness, it really pisses me off. Women shouldn't have to be afraid. It just sucks.