A Mother's Balancing Act

Creeper at the Movies

OK, is it just me, or is it weird for a guy to go to the movies, by himself, with the intent of picking up women?

Creepers. Yuck!

So, my High School Daughter (HS Girl) and I went to a movie the other night (Super 8 - which was great, by the way), and we decided to stop in line at the concessions. We were third in line and discussing what to get.

Balanced Babe: Mmm...I haven't had popcorn in forever. We have to get some.

HS Girl: I don't like movie popcorn...it's too salty.

BB: How could you not like movie popcorn? It's the best...it's so bad for us...but I don't care. Yum-oh.

HS Girl: I want something sweet.

BB: (whispering) I have M&M's...

Just then, Creeper (directly in front of us) turns around and grins leers at us. He has to kind of peer up at us - me, 5'11, and HS Girl, towering above him in all of her own teen stretched out glory, complete with braid down to her waist.

BB: Uh...helloo??

Creeper: I like to listen.

BB: Uh, yes...? (expecting him to utter some sort of excuse or apology for eavesdropping)

Creeper: And I've always loved tall women, so I couldn't help myself...

HS Girl: (eyes wide, smirk on her face, speechless)

BB: OKayyy...

Creeper turns back around.

HS Girl: (whispering) Flash your wedding ring!!! (explodes into a flood of giggles...)

Can I just say, "Not ok, Creeper Dude. Not ok." And as far as I'm concerned, he wasn't necessarily focused on me. My daughter was oblivious, but she can easily be taken for older than her 16 years. He could have been hitting on either one of us. In the end, her laughter shamed him on his creeper's way.

But, YUCK!

This is why women never, ever, ever, ever want to go to the movies alone...God forbid. Reminds me of the old Mad TV skit... "Can I Have Your Number?" Hilarious. In that case, the "creeper" was played by a young woman, dressed as a young man. Too funny.

Balanced Babe - Molly Wendland

Character...A Most Important Possession

In recent weeks, I have found myself bombarded with numerous situations that have caused me to question the values of others and just what on earth they could possibly be thinking. These "others" range from adolescents all the way to older adults, and in spite of trying my very best not to, it tends to make one start to feel a bit superior. I'm not saying that I'm doing the total superiority dance. No, not totally. But geez, what are some of these people thinking?

At the risk of hurting feelings and outing people I care about, I won't go into details here. Rather, I will stick to the point I am at now, which is one of reflection. As parents, we all hope to impart some sort of wisdom upon our children. We hope to ingrain in them the things that we deem important, indeed even necessary, for them to lead a fruitful, fulfilling life. In attempting to impart this wisdom, my husband and I often find ourselves at odds with today's materialistic society.

With the children, I have to think that the apple doesn't fall from the tree. Cheaters, for example, breed cheaters, right? Or, at the very least, overbearing parents with unrealistic standards breed cheating children? Try as I may to convince my kids that "cheaters never prosper", it's hard for them to do all the work necessary to achieve the A's the ethical way, yet constantly see others skate by the cheater's way (and yes, sadly, I do mean constantly). We remind them that in the end, the kid who cheats knows inside that she cheated, and God knows that she cheated. This is  especially true with subjects like math; it will truly hurt her in the long run. Still, it's hard for the kids on the straight and narrow.

And the adults who seem to trample over those in their path to get what they want? Naturally, I have even less patience for them. It's all I can do to be in the same room with people like that. As adults, we tell ourselves that "they'll get theirs in the end," "Karma will win out," etc.

But you know what? Outside of my marriage, the single most important possession I have is my character. And that's really all I need to know. And as my kids get older (now 16 and 19), they're really beginning to get that, too. Integrity is central to good character. They go hand in hand. You can't have one without the other.

I leave you with a couple of my favorite quotes on this topic:

The best index to a person’s character is (a) how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and (b) how he treats people who can’t fight back. 
— Abigail van Buren (Pauline Esther Friedman), American newspaper advice columnist (1918-2002)

Good character is more to be praised than outstanding talent. Most talents are, to some extent, a gift. Good character, by contrast, is not given to us. We have to build it piece by piece -- by thought, choice, courage and determination.

— John Luther

Balanced Babe (Molly Wendland)

We Gonna' Pump You Up!

 

My good friend (who has not yet chosen her moniker, so we'll call her "Simply C" for now, but trust me, you are going to love her when she starts writing here soon) found these fabulous examples of the latest trends in practical footwear for today's fashion forward gal whose feet are -- ahem -- on the larger side. My own feet are not small - size 10. My daughter's are size 13 to 14 -- yes, really. So, shopping is extremely challenging. Read on for "Simply C's" findings!

I am on the search for mid heel height slingback pump. And this is the shoe that reminded me of all the lovely options out there in size 12 M.  Simply perfect for those summer days on the yacht, don’t you agree?  Ahoy!

And now, bring in the Mary Janes…

  John Fluevog Women's Zaza Mary Jane Pump

Originally $238.95, but on sale for $171.95… and only one pair of size 12 M left in stock. If there was any way the Lakers could make the Championships this year, in this shoe, wouldn’t I be just *the* fan? I believe the word is “zaza”. 

Funtasma by Pleaser  Maryjane Pump – 50G

Don’t let the 50G fool you. They’re only $32.95… and that’s full price! Finally, a sensible platform heel that you can comfortably wear and walk all over town. And then, when you’re ready to call it a day, you may be able to click your heels three times and “there’s no place like home” yourself back to the comforts of your own abode. If that is possible, I’d consider this shoe in every color. Right now, I’ll have to settle for sparkly cotton candy in 12. Actually, for the “Pleaser” brand, this is an awfully tame, mind you, still ugly, shoe.

 

I just have no words. And they’re $98.69 on Amazon.com.  If that’s not torture, it must be “Black Swan” on training wheels.

 

Simply C, you are just too funny! Now, which ones for work today??? Decisions, decisions... ;-)

Balanced Babe (Molly Wendland)

PostSecret Art Project

    Have you seen this project? I am kind of blown away by it. I found out about PostSecret through my parent connection newsletter from my daughter's college.

The creator thought it would be cool for people to have an anonymous way to share their secrets (fears, hopes, dreams, etc.). So, what you do is send in a postcard (handmade or original ones seem to take preference when getting published) with your "secret" written on the blank side. Or, you can even submit your secret via Twitter http://twitter.com/secretarchive . It's turned into quite the domino effect, with philanthropic events (promoting suicide prevention and the like) happening all over the country and in British Columbia. The project appears to have been going on since January of 2005 and is now drawing to its close, so hurry if you want to "enter" your secret!

Here's a link:

http://www.postsecret.com/

Happy Surfing (and/or posting of your own secrets)!

Balanced Babe (Molly Wendland)

Backpack Texting...Really?

So, my daughter told me about a phenomena at her school that seems to be prevalent at high schools (and probably middle schools) everywhere.

Backpack texting.

Yep. Kids will find a way to text, regardless of the systems in place to prevent them from doing so. Technically speaking, our school regulations state:

"Cell phones and blackberries are not to be used during the school day. Cell phones will be confiscated if students use them during the day and will be returned by the end of the day or the following school day."

Well, yeah...let's see. We have approximately 560 girls at my daughter's school. I would estimate that 555 of them have a cell phone. Of those 555, I would also estimate that 554 of them have the phone turned on while at school but on vibrate or silent mode. That way, if Mom or Dad needs to send them a text, they can check for messages in between classes or over lunch ("I will be working late." "You left your Lit book @ home. Do you need it?" "Just got your text from this morning. Sorry. Can't bring the Lit book you left @ home. I'm @ work..."). This is not intended as a device to be used all day...like during class!

But apparently, here's what happens with some many of the girls:

The teacher is lecturing. The student reaches into her backpack and inconspicuously (one-handed) types a text to a friend in another class (or sitting across the room!). When I asked my daughter how a girl could possibly do this without looking at her phone, she shrugged me off and said, "It's not that hard, Mom...well, I don't do it, obviously." Obviously...

So, I asked her to send me a backpack text -- right then.

Here's what I got:

Hello mu mdnr ud 3 =1%)!

I can't remember what she said she tried to type!

Hmmm...either she:

1. Was telling the truth about not being a backpack texter, OR
2. Sent a complete gobbledegook text to placate me.

I'll take # 1, thank you very much!

Here's what I got on my Samsung Captivate when I tried to backpack text:

Nf czhvbgsf nx,mmm

In case you somehow couldn't decipher my message, that says:

My Daugter is Cool

Balanced Babe (Molly Wendland)

Monday Morning Coffee

As I sit this morning, making my "to-do" list before dashing off to work, I am ever so thankful that I roasted a turkey breast yesterday, in order to make my gravy in advance of "The Big Feast". And oh my goodness, it is delicious, if I do say so myself...and I do!

Entertaining 21 is not something that I do often. It didn't occur to me until last weekend that my cleaning crew (once again) did not "ping me" to ask when they could reschedule me since my regular day falls on "The Big Day". Last year, when I realized this, I opted out, figuring we were heading out of town to my brother's house. I thought, "Hey, we'll save the hundred bucks, do some cleaning ourselves (ahem...), and no one will be the wiser." Well, this time, I've got a cast of thousands coming to my house. It needs to be cleaned. I was sick a good part of last week (yuck!), and College Girl comes home tomorrow night to boot!

It looks like we'll be pulling together as a family to do an "all-out-effort" to get the house in order. I worked on everything but the floors in the kitchen last night, so it's in pretty good shape at the moment. I reminded Big Strong Man (that's BSM for any of you newcomers...) that I'd need his assistance, and we'll just make it work. That's right...Tim Gunn style. Yeah, I know. It sounds lame, but when you're used to having help, it takes a village to really get the whole house clean at the same time!

Truth be told, I'm just so excited to get my College Girl home tomorrow night, I'll do anything to get the Big Feast on the table on Thursday. Family, friends, feast, faith. It'll all be there. Life is good.

Cheers,

Balanced Babe (Molly Wendland)

FedEx...$88 for Shipping Raggedy Ann's Costume?

So, I needed to ship a care package to College Girl last week. It contained a Raggedy Ann Halloween  
costume, among other things. I have a FedEx account with an excellent discount due to having a home-based direct sales business through a company that happens to be their largest residential shipping customer. I had the package, all 5.5 pounds of it, boxed and taped up, pre-addressed, etc. I just wanted to find out how much it was going to cost me, depending on what time it arrived (morning or afternoon). It was shipping from KC to Chicago. I had shipped to College Girl previously, just not overnight. The gentleman assigned to assist me was visibly distressed when I handed him my account card, shoulders heaving and sighing heavily.

Balanced Babe: Could you please tell me what it will cost to ship, morning vs. afternoon?

FedEx #1: About $5.00 difference.

BB: Oh, well, I have a really good discount, so if you could just check what it will be for each, that would be great.

FE 1: (Sighing...disturbed, looking at my FedEx/Kinko's combo card with consternation...) Frank, is this a shipping card???

From somewhere hidden across the room, Frank responds that yes, it is indeed a shipping card and the account # is the one that says, "FedEx Shipping #". Hmmm...funny how that works. There really isn't that much data on the card, but this has been the source of confusion for some time, actually. FE 1 proceeds with his sighing and types a few numbers into his monitor. He stares at the screen for a few moments and then confidently announces the following:

FE 1: That will be $88.02 for 10 am tomorrow, $58.01 for about noon and $51.76 for 3 pm.

BB: (dumbfounded and...nearly...at a loss for words) Are you kidding me??? $88? (panicking...gathering my thoughts...panicking some more...knowing that College Girl needs this costume the next day, or I might as well not even send it at all) So, you're telling me that the least expensive option to get this to Chicago tomorrow is 51 dollars...and 76 cents?

FE 1: (nodding) Yes.

BB: (mouth gaping)

But then, I suddenly catch a glimmer of doubt in this man's eyes...

BB: You're quite certain...

FE 1: Wait...let me check something...(studying the monitor and glancing uncomfortably at my steely gaze)...Frank!!!

Suddenly, there's Frank, whom I recognize from many other competently managed visits. Ah, Frank...where've you been? Frank, save us. Frank, what's the good word? Frank, give it to me straight!

Frank: Zach, go ldfkgjlfdkjgld;fkgh

I don't know what it was that Frank told FE 1 (now known to me as Zach) to go do, but FE 1 disappeared with his tail between his legs. Frank took over, typing furiously on the keyboard.

Frank: OK, you wanted this there for the cheapest price possible???

BB: No, actually, I need it there tomorrow, but I just wanted to know the various prices, depending on the time of day.

Frank: OK, it'll be $18.77 if it gets there by 10 am and $16.08 if it gets there by 3 pm.

My heart soars. Halloween is saved. Raggedy Ann will live on!

BB: 3 pm is fine.

I slide my chicken-scratched post-it across the counter to Frank.

BB: Just so you know, this is what Zach quoted me for morning, noon and 3 pm...

Frank's eyes bug out of his head.

Frank: Yeah, that's why I sent him off...that was your discount percentage.

Ha! I knew I had a great discount! Disaster averted. But wow, I hope they keep Zach off the FedEx counter. Perhaps he should just sweep or something.

Didn't Raggedy Ann look adorable -- in her homemade costume --from last year, no less? And her friend, who dressed as Snooki? She's sooo not like that...which made it all the funnier!

Balanced Babe (Molly Wendland)

 

Needle In a Haystack...

Just found this post that I never published. I liked it when I wrote it, so I decided to go ahead and send it out into cyberspace - about a year after the fact...

About 6 months ago, my 15 year old offered to "organize" my collection of recipes. If you'd seen them then, you'd know why I was thrilled beyond belief and willing to pay nearly any price for this precious service. We settled on the approximate amount of $100. This is what I've gotten so far...um, yeah...

 

Ain't life with teens grand?

So, recently, when I wanted to prepare my fabulous Pineapple Ketchup to go with the Pork Tenderloin that we were grilling for our family's Sunday dinner for nine, it was with sheer amazement that I retrieved the recipe from the pit on our guest room bed in under a minute. Serve this with grilled pork, beef or chicken. Yum! It's also good alongside marinated red onions. (Marinate for a couple of hours in a ziplock bag: one thinly sliced and quartered red onion, the juice of one lime, 1 T. red wine vinegar, 1 t. sugar, coarsely ground pepper to taste.) This meal pairs nicely with with a glass of pinot grigio, or if you prefer red, you are best to stick with a lighter one, perhaps a pinot noir or petir syrah. I even like a smooth Crianza with this. Enjoy!

Chunky Pineapple Ketchup

• 1 T. vegetable oil
• 1 yellow onion, very thinly sliced
• 1 pineapple, chunked
• 1/4 cup orange juice
• 1/4 cup brown sugar
• 1/4 rice wine vinegar or vinegar
• 1 t. rose water (optional)
• 1 pinch ground cloves (important!)
• salt and pepper to taste
• 1 T. corn starch, mixed with 2 T. water

1. Saute onions 5-7 minutes.
2. Add pineapple. Cook about 3 minutes more.
3. Add remaining ingredients, except corn starch mixture. Cook add'l 5 min or so until mixture begins to thicken.
4. Add corn starch mixture, and boil until mixture thickens substantially.
5. Serve with your favorite grill meat!

Weird Teen Collections

As I sift through the myriad of junk on my daughter's floor, searching for possible articles of clothing to add to the laundry, I am struck dumb by the sheer number of odds and ends that she appears to find worthy of collecting for future use:

• Starburst, Reece's, gum and other assorted candy wrappers
• Empty pop cans, water bottles and Tupperware
• Used Q-Tips
• Band-Aid wrappers
• Empty pop cans, water bottles
• Beads...everywhere
• Loose Kleenex
• Empty Rx bottles
• Embroidery floss in a variety of lengths and colors
• More hair bands than you can shake a stick at
• Bobby pins, clips, and the offers that fall out of magazines

Why is it that none of the things that would normally wind up in the rest of our trash cans sit idly on her floor/desk/night stand? I don't know. We have trash cans in every room of our home. Literally. Every room. Yet her hand can't seem to find them. I don't get that.

In her "defense" (ahem...), Girl 2 is incredibly creative and talented with all things crafts, and she is forever folding candy wrappers into cool works of art. Sooo, there is that. But I ask you, do they have to be all over her room in the meantime??? Agghhh! And there is simply no excuse for not throwing out a used Q-Tip, right? "Allow me to introduce you to the trash can!"

I have to offer this up, as well, though. I enjoy the crafts she makes with these odds and ends greatly! The picture I've included here...just one of the many things that she creates with the sort of thing that I wish she would pitch. Folded paper flowers. She is, in fact, a paper folding wizard of sorts. Pure self-taught art. Therein lies the difference between my daughter and me. She is a creative genius. Plain and simple. So, there you go.

And it is for that reason that I wind up simply letting it go.

All the crap that settles onto her floor.

I let it go. Let it slide right off me like a cool shower on a hot summer day..because before I know it, she will be out of our house and off to college, just like her older sister. And I will be left wishing she were here, crap on the floor or not. I will miss her, just as I miss her sister. A messy floor is a small thing, really, when it comes right down to it, isn't it?

So, I'll celebrate her creativity...today, at least.

If only the flowers made the room smell better...ah, well.

Balanced Babe - Molly Wendland

 

 

 

 

Bullying - Celebrities Speak Out

Bullying is certainly in the news this week. Good Morning America ran a story this morning, interviewing one of my favorite actors from Modern Family, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. He said that his situation got so bad in junior high that he had to change schools in 8th grade. They aired a quote from Tim Gunn (Project Runway), who said that he had such angst as a young gay male at 17, that he tried to commit suicide.

A public service announcement about the gravity of this issue will be aired sometime later this week or early next. I have seen comments where people have asked why there is the sudden outcry only now, when a string of homosexual young men have committed suicide. From what I understand, this particular demographic is particularly at risk over all other teens (even lesbian teens) due to pressures and bullying that seem to be worse for them than their other teen peers.

Every home, every public school, every college must be a safe place for our sons and daughters to be.

Balanced Babe - Molly Wendland