A Mother's Balancing Act: Family

Family

March 05, 2009

Rihanna, Don't Do It

Aside from the obvious knee-jerk response of my headline above, I find myself contemplating Rihanna's recent reconciliation with batterer Chris Brown disheartening on so many levels. Many of you know that I serve on a coalition for a local domestic violence shelter for women and their children. The primary purpose of our group is to raise awareness about domestic abuse in an effort to stop the abuse before it even happens. Education results in prevention. It's been proven time and again.

Until this week, I hadn't realized that little kids (like 4 and 5 year olds) are talking about this incident on playgrounds. No, I am not exaggerating. They have heard about this from their older siblings, in after school care, day care and when the news is on. Perhaps they've even overheard their parents talking about it over a nice glass of wine.

The point is, little kids know that their hero from Nickelodeon and Sesame Street (yes, Chris Brown has made numerous appearances on Sesame Street) beat up his girlfriend. And now, as if that wasn't bad enough, Rihanna has taken him back.

The message to the kids out there?

It's OK to beat up your girlfriend as long as you're sorry you did it afterward.

As a celebrity, Rihanna had (and perhaps even still does if she wakes up and kicks Brown's butt to the curb), the opportunity to make a huge impact on young people in our society -- both male and female. I know she's practically still a kid herself, but in taking Brown back, Rihanna just set us back about 25 years on the domestic violence awareness campaign.

Rihanna, dump that sorry sleazbag, and move on. No one deserves to be hit. And he didn't do it once or even twice. He beat the living daylights out of you.

Kick him to the curb. Today.

And parents? Talk to your kids. They know more than you think. And less than you think. Check out the resources below for some conversation starters. You'll be glad you did.

Balanced Babe (aka Molly Wendland)

Some Resources that May Be Useful to You:

Tips for Parents

How To Talk To Your Children About Healthy Relationships Handbook

Resources For Parents

How To Talk To Your Teens Handbook

Teen Dating Violence Survey Results

Communicating with Teens About Dating Violence

And check out my writing partner over at White Trash Mom's post on this same subject. Michelle has some great links to awesome info.

Posted by Balanced Babe (Molly Wendland) on March 05, 2009 at 07:35 PM in Current Affairs, Daughters, Domestic Violence, Family, Parenting, Teenagers, Television | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Technorati Tags: Battered Women, Chris Brown, Domestic Violence, Kids, Rihanna, Sesame Street

January 28, 2009

A Mother's Angst

Ah, the teen years...shopping, movies, going steady, staying up late chatting with your girlfriends, cruising Main Street, going to the "Big Game" and "The Dance"...

OK, who am I kidding? Yes, there's time for socializing, but my kids' lives are filling me with angst. It's more like this:

Homework
Studying for the "Big Test"
Working on the group project
Staying up late texting about who's responsible for what on the group project
Cruising Wal-Mart late at night, panicked, searching for that last minute item for the "Big Project"
Doing the dance between needing sleep and needing to study more for the "Big Test" in AP Chemistry

Is it just me, or has high school gotten out of hand? One of our daughters is involved in sports, and the other is not, but both are in honors classes. And both are outrageously busy. When does a kid have time to be a kid? A teen have time to be a teen? Yes, we want them to be prepared for college. Yes, we want them to do well on college entrance exams and hopefully get good scholarships to good schools. Yes, we want them to be well-rounded.

I pray for guidance every day. As I sit here mulling it over, sipping my coffee, It just seems to me that there isn't enough time for them to be kids. Is it just me? They're such good kids. They're really not even complaining, but their teen years are flying by so fast without them even realizing it. Perhaps it's just me, and I'm just getting old...perhaps that's it.

Perhaps.

Balanced Babe (AKA Molly Wendland)

Posted by Balanced Babe (Molly Wendland) on January 28, 2009 at 08:48 AM in Coffee, Family, Motherhood, Parenting, School, Sports, Teenagers | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Technorati Tags: ACT, College, High School Sports, Homework, Motherhood, Parenting, SAT, School, Teens

January 02, 2009

Waxing Poetic (sort of ) re: the Holidays...

About this time of the season, most of us are just about ready to hang up our holiday cheer for another year...

Some of us would (secretly?) like to drop the kids off a little early back at school - like today...even though it doesn't start again until Monday.
The cranberries in your "tasteful decor" have dried up and taken on a decidedly different look than when the season began, and they might have even begun to assume a certain pungent and not so pleasant aroma.
Fido's once darling Hannukah "do" is now a mange of tangled fur and wrapping paper, and you wish you'd never let that cloying groomer talk you into all those fussy bows and bells. What were you thinking?
Your homemade Christmas toffee tradition has caused the family to gain a collective 50 pounds, and there's still another tubful in the garage - who do you think you are - Giada?
The house looks like it's been ridden hard and put up wet, thank you. And if your eldest asks you one more time what she can have for lunch, you just might have to remind her (one more time...) that there are kids (in Zimbabwe, China, Pakistan...) who don't even have refrigerators to stand in front of for half an hour to contemplate that deceision...
Could we go just one day without the dog eating something she's not supposed to and vomiting - on my leg - and favorite shoes?
Is there ever going to be a day when there isn't laundry to be done?
And could my extended family go one round of holidays without having the plague whip through? Seriously, you'd think my sister's family all drank caster oil or something!
And this last, do you think I could have a party without Mother Nature "blessing us" with snow or ice on the day of the party? How about next week for book club, please? Please?

In spite of it all, however, I find myself waxing poetic. Yep. Call me crazy. In fact, I'm trying to decide whether I should be taking all of my decorations down this weekend or waiting one more, so we can enjoy them one last time next Thursday at book club. What do you think?

So, here's what crazy me is going to miss:

The sweet scent of my Frasier Fir tree
Eggnog
Time spent with family (well, most of it anyway!)
Eating out
Eating period!
Going out for coffee with friends
Baking (yes, I really do enjoy that unlike my White Trash counterpart over at White Trash Mom!...)
Sitting in the living room with all the lights out except those on my Christmas tree...transcendental experience, I'm telling you!
Time off work!

Ah, well, that's the holidays for you. They must come to an end. I kinda' go through the post holiday blues every year. Well, my Big Strong Man calls it my winter blues. In any case, Happy New Year to all of you. We actually had a pretty rough couple of months, healthwise, with one of our kids to round out 2008. With that said, I wish you peace and health in the new year, and May 2009 bring all that you are hoping for.

Balanced Babe - Molly Wendland

Posted by Balanced Babe (Molly Wendland) on January 02, 2009 at 08:12 AM in Family, Food and Drink, Motherhood, Parenting, School, White Trash Moms | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Technorati Tags: Family, Holidays, Parenting, White Trash Mom

December 19, 2008

Back from the Depths...

Hello to all in cyberspace. Yes, I'm back from the depths, and yes I apologize for the long hiatus. We've been going thru some serious medical issues with one of our girls, and it's been a rough time. I should have gotten guest posts started up, but it honestly didn't even occur to me at the time. Anyway, hopefully, some of you have kept checking back and will find me again.

With promises to be back with:

interesting
funny
informative
stupid
random
useless

stuff in the immediate future,

Balanced Babe (aka Molly Wendland)

Posted by Balanced Babe (Molly Wendland) on December 19, 2008 at 07:12 AM in Family, Motherhood, Parenting | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Technorati Tags: Family, Hiatus

November 15, 2008

Cookies, Cookies & More Cookies!

It's just about that time of year, folks. What better time, then, to direct you to one of my favorite sites? That of the awe-inspiring, jaw-dropping cookie wonder at www.Northpole.com, where you'll find literally 100's of favorites such as 7 Layer Cookies, No Bake Chocolate Oatmeal Drop Cookies(Big Strong Man's fav...), Chocolate Mint Snowtop Cookies...Wow, I could go on forever!(What's new?) You'll really have to just dig in for yourselves. Save this post to your Favorites, or at the least, copy and paste the list below into a Word document, so you'll have the links forever! You'll be glad you did!

I throw a Christmas Cookie Exchange every year, so for me, this is one of the coolest things I have ever found! (I know...I'm a total dork, but at least I know it!) If you're no Martha Stewart, and let's face it, which one of us is, then check out this site! Baking cookies is a great way to spend time with your family. Frankly, most of these recipes are not difficult, so have at it. And have fun and Happy Baking!

Balanced Babe (Molly Wendland)

Posted by Balanced Babe (Molly Wendland) on November 15, 2008 at 03:49 PM in Family, Food and Drink, Martha Stewart | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

Technorati Tags: Baking, Christmas, Christmas, Cookie Exchange, Cookies, Family, Holidays, Martha Stewart, Recipes

October 31, 2008

Teens and Halloween - What's a Good Curfew???

OK, so my 17 year old has multiple Halloween activities tonight. A volunteer food collecting activity (in lieu of trick-or-treating...) and two parties to attend. She is a really good kid, super serious and studious (to the point of me occasionally worrying about this (go figure...). Yes, I know that's a good problem to have. And no, I promise that I'm not one of those parents with blinders on about their perfect kid. She's just not into a lot of the partying that many teenagers are into.

However, tonight, she does happen to have two parties to go to. One is a party at a friend's from elementary school days. This particular friend has been having this party since they were really little. It's always been a great time - scavenger hunt, etc. Good old fashioned fun. The other one is at a newer friend from high school but also a nice girl.

Here is my dilemma. Her usual curfew is 11 pm. We have been tossing around the idea of extending it to 11:30 this year, just in general. We've also talked about extending it for special nights like this, at the least. Tonight, I'm thinking midnight might be in order, especially since the two parties are about 6 miles apart, and the second one will be about that far from our house.

Those of you with teens, what are their curfews, and do you extend them for special occasions?

Balanced Babe (Molly Wendland)

Posted by Balanced Babe (Molly Wendland) on October 31, 2008 at 10:23 AM in Family, Motherhood, Parenting, Teenagers | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBack (0)

Technorati Tags: Curfews, Halloween, Parenting, Parties, Teenagers, Teens

October 15, 2008

They Drive Me Batty!

Life is stranger than fiction, at least in my home! It is 11:30 at night, I am FINALLY calling it a day and crawling into bed when my children, 16 & 19, request my presence. The mere fact that they want anything to do with me is alarming, but at this hour I am shocked.

Of course the request comes in the form of a text - they are just in the hallway outside my bedroom though. I MUST come to the hallway, NOW.

After some bantering, all I want is to sleep. I walk to the hallway to find a bat hanging from the ceiling in the hallway. Being the brave single mother that I am, I calmly go back into my bedroom and call the non-emergency police number. Yes, with the strange neighbors I have it is programmed into my cell phone. I ask if they can dispatch animal control. "No, mam; they don't work at this hour. Can I help you?" I explain that there is a bat hanging from my hallway ceiling and that I would like it to disappear. Thirty minutes or so later, the friendly police squad show up to rid my house of the bat.

Cop one asks if I have a ladder, but decides on taking the kitchen chair instead - low ceilings I guess. Cop two stops the proceedings to pull out her cell phone and take pictures of the bat. All the while, I just want this thing gone so I can go back to bed. Cop one carefully climbs upon the chair and pulls out his tin can with a lid in which he begins to scoop the bat. Well darn that popcorn ceiling, his little feet are pretty tightly implanted onto my ceiling and he is not wanting to release his hold, so the bat begins to screech. My two yappy miniture dachshunds chime in with this screeching too. I knew exactly how the Grinch felt, "Oh the noise, noise, NOISE!" Alas, my faithful and friendly policemen successfully scrape the bat off the ceiling and into their tin can.

They walk out my front door and before the door is even fully closed - let it go. By the grace of G-d, the damn creature did not re-enter my house. 12:30 am, I am definitely ready for some sleep! Had this bat been a rich and gorgeous Bruce Wayne, I would have welcomed him to stay much later, ah but not the luck of this fair maiden.

Yours in the Blogosphere,

Coffee Queen

Posted by Coffee Queen on October 15, 2008 at 09:06 AM in Family, Motherhood, Parenting, Teenagers, Weird | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

October 14, 2008

Introducing...A New Author on Mother's Balancing Act

Drumroll, please...

Allow me to introduce the newest addition to my Mother's Balancing Act team, Coffee Queen!

She's balancing a career in sales while raising two teens as a happily divorced (did I mention available?) mom who has been a dear friend of mine for many years. When not working or attending one of her many kids' activities, you might find her drinking one of the skads of cups of coffee she consumes on a daily basis (usually decaf...go figure), working on her latest quilting project, playing with one of her crazy miniature dachsunds, volunteering for SAFEHOME, helping fight Juvenile Diabetes (which her daughter was diagnosed with last year), hanging out with her adorable mother (yes, she's a member of the "sandwich generation"), or at the gym (did I mention she's one hot mama?).

Coffee Queen goes a mile a minute and manages to pull it all off with grace and style. However, having said that, her feet are firmly planted in the White Trash Mom movement (thank God, or I might not be able to call her my BFF!), and her very first post will carry a "weird" tag, so you know she'll fit right in here. I'm guessing future posts will fit into such categories as:

Coffee (that great elixir of life...)
Tales from the Dweeb Side
Parenting/Teens
Working Moms
Single Moms/Motherhood
Divorced and Dating???
Muffia
Pets, namely the aforementioned crazy min dachsunds

OK, so...the next post on this site will be from...you guessed it. Our very own...Coffee Queen!

Cheers!

Balanced Babe (Molly Wendland)

Posted by Balanced Babe (Molly Wendland) on October 14, 2008 at 10:09 PM in Coffee, Family, Motherhood, Muffia, Parenting, Politics, Presidential Campaign, School, Single Moms, Tales from the Dweeb Side, Teenagers, Weird, White Trash Living, White Trash Moms, Working Mothers | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Technorati Tags: Coffee, Motherhood, Parenting, Teens

October 08, 2008

Please Help This Darling Girl - Vote Here!

One of the great things about having your own blog platform is the ability to promote your own causes. Well, this is a great one, so please, please, please take a moment to read this brief post, and follow the link below to the site to watch my friend Ginny's video. Then, if you are so inclined (and I am sending brainwashing signals your way right this very moment, so...), please vote for her video.

My fabulous friend Ann is a grandma (and a young one, at that!) to the sweetest little darling you could ever meet. When Holly was born, she was roughly 2 months premature, and her arrival was fraught with complications. What had seemed like the perfect pregnancy quickly turned into an emergency once she arrived.

Enter Children's Mercy Hospital in Kansas City, Missouri, one of the best children's hospitals in the country. Recently, the hospital sponsored a contest, asking past patients' families to write in and related their stories about their experiences of care received at the hospital. Well, Ginny Evans, Holly's mom, did just that, and now, she and Holly and among ten finalists, to be voted on at the end of this month.

What follows here is a link to a video about two wonderfully strong females. It is at once uplifting and inspiring. When Holly was born, her chances of survival were at risk. Now, you would never even know that she was at all different from any other 8 year old kid. She is smart, athletic and funny. She is a joy to be around and a blessing to all who know her.

http://www.childrensmercy.org/mystory_vote.aspx?vID=5&#videoPlayer

Won't you vote for this single mom and her daughter and affirm their victory over what was once a debilitating handicap for a very young child? It's so great to hear a message of hope in these troubling times! We can all vote once per day until October 31st, and then the contest is over.

Please help me celebrate Holly's success and continuing battle to overcome difference in a world that embraces homogeny.

Download HollysStory.pdf

Balanced Babe (aka Molly Wendland)

Posted by Balanced Babe (Molly Wendland) on October 08, 2008 at 11:15 AM in Family, Motherhood, Parenting | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Technorati Tags: Children's Mercy Hospital, Club Foot, Contest, Inspiration, Motherhood, Parenting

October 03, 2008

Cooking Disasters!

I am fortunate to work with a great group of ladies. We all get along really well, and that makes work less like work, which is awesome. I realize that makes my situation relatively rare, especially where women are concerned, since we all know "we" can sometimes tend to be one catty group of tigresses.

One of the gals who I work with happens to be challenged in the ways of cooking. And when I say challenged, I mean seriously challenged. Like when she went to do some baking a while back and got stumped, she called another friend from work and had the following converstation:

KC: So, I'm doing some baking, and the recipe has me stumped.

DO: (who was on a girls' weekend with other friends...) OK, what's your problem? And by the way, you do realize that I'm with a carful of other women...

KC: (showing no signs of apparent embarrassment...) Yeah, well, so this recipe says to separate the egg, and then it says to take the white and do something with it...So, I know the yolk is the yellow part, but what's the white?

At this point, I should point out that DO has put KC on speaker phone. And yes, they are BFF's. :-)

KC can now hear hooting and howling from the background.

DO: Are you kidding me?

KC: No, I mean, there's the yolk, and then there's that clear looking stuff, so I'm assuming that has to be the white, but it's not white, so why would they call it that?

DO: OMG, you are so literal. What am I going to do with you?

KC: Well, seriously, I don't bake! How am I ever going to learn if there's stuff like this? Why would they call that the white? Is that what it is?

DO: Yes, KC. That's the white.

KC: Oh. OK.

And on she went but not without some more complaining about how that wasn't fair, etc. :-)

So, recently, KC was at a family gathering where a favorite aunt served up a chicken casserole that everyone was raving about. KC decided to ask for the recipe and try her hand at Aunt Virginia's dish at home. She shared the rest of the story while we were all at lunch a couple of weeks ago and had the whole table in stitches. I asked her to "guest blog" it. I give you my dear (and good-natured) friend KC's account of her kitchen encounter (names changed to protect the cooking challenged...)!

At a family reunion this past summer my Aunt made a chicken recipe she called Velveeta Chicken. It tasted good and I am always in the market for new chicken recipes as my husband loves chicken. So one day I am making up the grocery list and I look at the receipe my Aunt had written out for me and it says to put in 3/4 can milk. At the grocery store my husband comes up an aisle and asks me about the canned milk (we split up when we grocery shop; it speeds up the time and our kids like "racing" against Daddy to see who can get more items).

Anyway, back to the milk. He says there are 2 kinds of canned milk, evaporated and condensed sweetened, which one do you want. I don't know, I say. The recipe calls for canned milk. It doesn't say which kind. I tell him I think it is probably the condensed one. I prepare the Velveeta chicken that night for dinner. We sit down to eat and I take a bite. Hmmm this doesn't quite taste like my Aunt's. I take another bite. I say to my husband, I think we chose the wrong can of milk.

My husband gets up and gets the salsa out of the fridge (Salsa is the answer to every food mishap!). I continue to take some bites until I just can't anymore. I tell him that is it...I can't eat it. I look at my children who have chosen to eat their corn first and my oldest, who is 5, asks me, Mommy, do I have to take 2 bites of it? (I make them take 2 bites of all new foods.) I look at him and say no, honey, and pick up his plate and scrape off the food and then I do the same for my other son.

I then tell my husband to throw the rest out.

I then make a mental note that when my mother needs a good laugh I will have to share this story with her!!!

KC, thanks for sharing this great story with us!! Later, KC found out that the recipe called for not "canned milk" at all but 3/4 can of milk. You were supposed to fill the empty cream of chicken soup can with milk. Go figure! Her aunt had dictated the recipe over the phone. Lost in translation!

What cooking mishaps have you had in your kitchen???

Balanced Babe

Posted by Balanced Babe (Molly Wendland) on October 03, 2008 at 09:53 AM in Cooking, Desperation Dinners, Family, Food and Drink, Motherhood, Parenting, Work | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

Technorati Tags: cooking, cooking+disasters, cooking+mishaps, family

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