Do you ever have those driving moments that are so unbelievable to you that you can't even comprehend that they are happening? This one was so much that way that I had to wait a couple of days to let the dust settle before writing about it. Allow me to lay the scene...
Saturday night, I went to pick up Girl 2 from a "mixer" (read: social where teenage boys and girls assemble in a high school gym, horde together in a huge mass in the center of said gym, assume rave-type style of dancing for 3 hours in one sweaty throng of teenage hormonal vigor and then depart in private cars driven by an assortment of parental units).
The traffic to merely get into the parking lot of the high school was backed up for 4 blocks, so I figured out that I could go in the "back way". Feeling somewhat smug now that I am a "veteran mom", I snaked my way through (with other "veteran parents" it turned out...) and was nearing the area where I would finally reach my daughter when the car in front of me suddenly came to a grinding halt. Stopped. On a dime. Fortunately, I was paying good attention, and I stopped too. Figuring that a child had run in front of the car in front of me, I waited patiently to no avail. The woman did not move. We were in the middle of an aisle, and I couldn't pass her. The parking lot was teeming with teenagers, who should have known better but were running everywhere. It was dark. They were difficult to see, and it was really a pretty dangerous situation, with so many cars and so many kids running all over the place.
It was at this point that the woman in front of me put her BMW SUV in reverse. What the heck? I should point out here that in spite of the fact that the parking lot had tons of cars, there were oodles of spaces available. The cars were there to pick kids up, so most were not parking. Frustrated, I look behind me and all around, and against my better judgment, start backing up to accommodate the lady in front of me, who appears to need to back up. I back up about 6 feet and stop, figuring this should give the lady enough room to do whatever it is that she needs to do. Keep in mind that this woman and I are the only ones in this particular row (other than the 6 million running, screaming, cavorting teenagers...).
So, the lady starts backing up and angling to the right toward a parking spot. I am incredulous that she is backing into a parking space when there is an entire parking lot of spaces available. Spots to her left and right, directly in front of her. Suddenly, I am aware that she is still backing up, has not judged her turn correctly, and she is going to hit my car. I am still in "park" and can't move in time, so I "beep" my horn at her to alert her that I am in her way. It is at this time that she stops dead, turns her head to look at me and throws her hands out the window at me with a look of pure disgust, bobbing her head. I only wish you could see me imitating this Muffy.
Yes, apparently, I was the one to blame. I was only happy that she would have to keep backing up to finish getting into her spot and I would be long gone, so she couldn't B*^+* slap me like she so obviously wanted to. Yep. Encounters with the Muffia on a Saturday night. It's the stuff nightmares are made of. Not pretty, lemme tell ya'.
In recounting this story to friends at dinner the following evening, I felt a little better when our friend John told me he would have been "laying on the horn waaaaay before you did and a lot more than that little beep." I've always been way too nice. It's a character flaw, really.
NOTE to MUFFY: Next time I won't be so nice. Next time I might not even back up to accommodate you. In fact, you never know when a girl might be PMS'ing, so if I were you, I'd just keep it in Drive, sister. Backing up in a dark parking lot that's teeming with 350 hormonal teenagers is a bad idea. You knew that when you did it. And you know what? Looking at me like I was the crazy one wasn't working for you. Next time, let your husband pick your teen up after the mixer. Stay home, and have another cosmo. Or better yet, just go to bed early next time. Better for everyone involved.
Balanced Babe
