A Mother's Balancing Act

Waxing Poetic (sort of ) re: the Holidays...

About this time of the season, most of us are just about ready to hang up our holiday cheer for another year...

• Some of us would (secretly?) like to drop the kids off a little early back at school - like today...even though it doesn't start again until Monday.
• The cranberries in your "tasteful decor" have dried up and taken on a decidedly different look than when the season began, and they might have even begun to assume a certain pungent and not so pleasant aroma.
• Fido's once darling Hannukah "do" is now a mange of tangled fur and wrapping paper, and you wish you'd never let that cloying groomer talk you into all those fussy bows and bells. What were you thinking?
• Your homemade Christmas toffee tradition has caused the family to gain a collective 50 pounds, and there's still another tubful in the garage - who do you think you are - Giada?
• The house looks like it's been ridden hard and put up wet, thank you. And if your eldest asks you one more time what she can have for lunch, you just might have to remind her (one more time...) that there are kids (in Zimbabwe, China, Pakistan...) who don't even have refrigerators to stand in front of for half an hour to contemplate that deceision...
• Could we go just one day without the dog eating something she's not supposed to and vomiting - on my leg - and favorite shoes?
• Is there ever going to be a day when there isn't laundry to be done?
• And could my extended family go one round of holidays without having the plague whip through? Seriously, you'd think my sister's family all drank caster oil or something!
• And this last, do you think I could have a party without Mother Nature "blessing us" with snow or ice on the day of the party? How about next week for book club, please? Please?

In spite of it all, however, I find myself waxing poetic. Yep. Call me crazy. In fact, I'm trying to decide whether I should be taking all of my decorations down this weekend or waiting one more, so we can enjoy them one last time next Thursday at book club. What do you think?

So, here's what crazy me is going to miss:

• The sweet scent of my Frasier Fir tree
• Eggnog
• Time spent with family (well, most of it anyway!)
• Eating out
• Eating period!
• Going out for coffee with friends
• Baking (yes, I really do enjoy that unlike my White Trash counterpart over at White Trash Mom!...)
• Sitting in the living room with all the lights out except those on my Christmas tree...transcendental experience, I'm telling you!

• Time off work!

Ah, well, that's the holidays for you. They must come to an end. I kinda' go through the post holiday blues every year. Well, my Big Strong Man calls it my winter blues. In any case, Happy New Year to all of you. We actually had a pretty rough couple of months, healthwise, with one of our kids to round out 2008. With that said, I wish you peace and health in the new year, and May 2009 bring all that you are hoping for.

Balanced Babe - Molly Wendland

Arizona - Man - It's a Whole Different Universe!

I really should have posted this before the election. It would have been more timely, what with McCain being from Arizona and all. But in typical procrastinator's fashion, here I am...late. Again.

So, a few weeks ago, Big Strong Man and I traveled to McCain's home state for my cousin's wedding. The details are now not quite as fresh in my mind, so a few observations about the state in general will have to suffice:

• Speed limits (especially those posted on any highway) are merely a suggestion. Drive any speed you choose at any time. Double that sentiment for construction zones regardless of all of those temporary reproving signs, warning you that fines are double in construction zones. (If there really isn't any fining going on to begin with, then doubling that isn't going to have much of a consequence, now is it?!). I nearly got blown off the road when I slowed to the posted construction zone speed...silly outsider!

• Plan to keep your broom and dustpan handy at all times for sweeping up tarantulas at a moment's notice. Yes, I speak in utter deadpan sincerity on this topic.

• Lizards, lizards and more lizards.

• I so wish that I had photographed the gentleman, in full business attire mind you, and shades propped up on his head as if he'd just raced over from the office. There he was hammering away on an electric organ (complete with steel drum and string effects) when we happened into a convenience store on Interstate 10, driving from Phoenix to Tucson. What was the song, you ask? Rocky Top. (no, the link is not to the guy singing...it's just in case you don't know the song...) There was a sign on top of the organ that read, "The Crooners". That's all, nothing more. Had I not witnessed it with my own eyes and ears, I'm not sure I would have believed the story. I walked through the store, picking up my bottled water and some candy, suppressing my guffaw, listening to tune after tune. Live music at the convenience store. Who'da thunk it? Shoot fahr! When we got to the counter, sensing my impending laughter, the cashier pleaded, "Don't even ask me. I have no idea!" By then, we'd been regaled with Rocky Top, On the Road Again and several others which are now escaping me. BSM and I figured out that he was one member of a band from the nearby Casino. We were driving through an Indian reservation. Apparently, he was (literally?) trying to drum up some business. Stop by next time you're ambling through AZ.

• Keep a watchful eye on your small children if you are visiting the foothills of the mountains. Again, not kidding. Mountain lions. Eating children. In Arizona.

• Did I mention rattlesnakes? In gardens? (See photo above from my cousin's backyard.)

• You know how you see the signs for lost dogs all over the place? Not so in Arizona. In Tucson, it was "LOST GOAT: Reward". I nearly wrecked the rental over that one! At a major intersection, no less.

OK, so I've told you all the funny stuff. But I haven't yet mentioned the amazing sunsets, my hilarious and fun family (why do we wait so long between visits???), my gorgeous relatives' homes, the fabulous food we ate, the wonderful resort where we stayed (Westward Look) (my cousin's new wife secured a great rate!), the fact that it was cold at home but 90 degrees in AZ, and that the cost of living appeared to be similar to ours in the Midwest. Plus, my family even told me they loved the book! You gotta' love that White Trash Mom movement. It's everywhere! Even in Arizona!

Having said all of that, are we moving? Not on your sweet scorpion life!

Cheers,

Balanced Babe (Molly Wendland)

Introducing...A New Author on Mother's Balancing Act

Drumroll, please...

Allow me to introduce the newest addition to my Mother's Balancing Act team, Coffee Queen!

She's balancing a career in sales while raising two teens as a happily divorced (did I mention available?) mom who has been a dear friend of mine for many years. When not working or attending one of her many kids' activities, you might find her drinking one of the skads of cups of coffee she consumes on a daily basis (usually decaf...go figure), working on her latest quilting project, playing with one of her crazy miniature dachsunds, volunteering for SAFEHOME, helping fight Juvenile Diabetes (which her daughter was diagnosed with last year), hanging out with her adorable mother (yes, she's a member of the "sandwich generation"), or at the gym (did I mention she's one hot mama?).

Coffee Queen goes a mile a minute and manages to pull it all off with grace and style. However, having said that, her feet are firmly planted in the White Trash Mom movement (thank God, or I might not be able to call her my BFF!), and her very first post will carry a "weird" tag, so you know she'll fit right in here. I'm guessing future posts will fit into such categories as:

• Coffee (that great elixir of life...)
• Tales from the Dweeb Side
• Parenting/Teens
• Working Moms
• Single Moms/Motherhood
• Divorced and Dating???
• Muffia
• Pets, namely the aforementioned crazy min dachsunds

OK, so...the next post on this site will be from...you guessed it. Our very own...Coffee Queen!

Cheers!

Balanced Babe (Molly Wendland)

My Elevated Status...

So, the other day, at our White Trash Mom site, I posted about how I got stuck on the company elevator. Many of you made me promise to let you know how that turned out.

So, for my entire 2 hour and 25 minute journey, I had no cell phone service, other than for one brief pocket of time when I had Digital Roam and "one bar". For some unknown  reason, good ol' Sprint (the home town favorite, whose international corporate headquarters is located less than 2 miles from my building...) gave me this weird message that I no longer had roam coverage. We've had it free in our package for years. Instead, it asked me if I would like to place a chargeable call while on Digital Roam? Having been stuck for well over an hour at this point, I replied, "Yes, (dammit!)." I quickly dialed my front desk to see if I could get a status report on the work that was being done on the elevator (which, apparently, wasn't being done, I found out later...). Well, I could hear our receptionist answer the phone, then a Sprint automated message ask if the receiving end would accept the charges for an emergency call from me. I couldn't hear the response from the other end, but then the automated message came back on and told me that the receiving party wouldn't accept the charges. Incredulous, I tried again with the same result. You have got to be kidding me! I was beside myself! Come to find out later, there was no way for our switchboard to receive such a call. Swell.

Next, I called my Big Strong Man, but his phone went to voice mail, so again, no connection. And then, my signal cut out again to no service. Agggghhhhh!

I went back to doing the little work that I had with me to do. I ate some more of the candy from my daughter's "guess how much candy is in the jar" winnings.

And when it had gotten to be two hours since I originally pressed the red elevator emergency button, I decided that I would press that darn button again. Why I waited that long, I will never know. How God gave me that much patience on that particular morning is a mystery even to me. So, I pressed the button again. And here's where this story got very disturbing.

Elevator Emergency: Elevator Emergency. Do you have any emergency?

Balanced Babe: Uh, yes. I've been stuck on this elevator for over two hours now. I'm just checking to see if you can give me a status report on how things are going with getting this thing fixed.

EE: Oh. OK. You say you're stuck?

BB: (beginning to sense that something is amiss...) Yesssss...can you give me an idea of when I can expect to be out of here?

EE: Um, hold on ma'am, and I will check.

And then, silence. I went about my business, and after a few minutes I realized that the woman was not coming back. I had been disconnected by an emergency response service! How smart! How very clever!

I pressed that darn button again so fast, you'd have been proud of me this time.

EE: Elevator Emergency. Do you have an emergency?

BB: (No, this is a crank call...geez...) Yes! You hung up on me. Do you remember me?

EE: Ma'am?

BB: I was just on the line with you, and you never came back (sounding like a paranoid maniac...)

EE: Ma'am, do you have an elevator emergency?

BB: (OMG, I'm going to slay this woman...) Yes, I have an emergency. I've been stuck on this elevator for well over two hours. I was just on the line with you. You told me to hold on, and you never came back.

EE: OK, ma'am. You see, these lines time out after a while. I didn't really hang up on you.

BB: Well, that's no good, is it?!?!

EE: (realizing that she's dealing with a crazed maniac...) Ma'am, I'll stay on the line with you and check this out, OK? Do you have a medical emergency?

BB: (now feeling like an idiot) No. I've just been stuck on this elevator for 2 hours and want to know when you're going to be getting me off.

EE: OK, just wait there with me while I check, ma'am.

BB: I'm not going anywhere.

EE: (stifling a giggle) Yes, ma'am.

I could hear her in the background, then, checking on the status. When she came back, her voice was audibly different. She sounded a little scared...

EE: Ma'am?

BB: Yes. I'm still here.

EE: Ma'am, we'll be sending someone right out...

BB: Excuse me?

EE: We're sending someone right out. They'll be there in 10 minutes or less. Just hang tight, ma'am.

I was dumbfounded. Where had they been for the last 2 freaking hours? I had been waiting so patiently. Like a good little Catholic schoolgirl...You have got to be kidding me!

Long story shorter, it turned out that the firt time I called, the elevator company came out, checked the wrong elevator (in our bank of three), found nothing wrong with it...and LEFT! I can't even believe it still. So, I -- like an idiot, apparently -- sat there patiently waiting for them to fix it when they weren't even in my building. Moments after my 3rd call to the EE, I heard my name being called up the elevator shaft by someone from my company. They were nicely telling me that the EE people were on their way. When I got off, about 15 minutes later, the folks from my company were shocked to learn that I had been stuck, not 15 minutes, but almost 2 1/2 hours. I had been a no-show on an important call with the state and a client. Talk about the "dog eating your homework"! What an excuse. You can't make this stuff up, people!

All in a day's work! I'm just happy I didn't fall down the shaft. And our building's leasing agent did send me the pretty flowers pictured above!

Balanced Babe

Ode to My Favorite Shoes

I think I've lost my favorite pair of shoes.    

There. I've said it. Blogged it even. I'm pretty sure that makes it real.

For the last couple of weeks, I've been in denial. Those are the ones you see pictured at right. Yes. I loved them so much, I even took a picture of them once to feature them in another post. I have worn them to death. So much so, in fact, that this past summer I even took them to favorite shoe guy to put a new sole and new heels on them. They were sexy but comfy, and I received compliments on them nearly every time I wore them.

I am tall, and finding "good" shoes, ones that look nice with a dressier outfit without making me super tall, can be very hard. Plus, I really don't like stalking around in stilts. These shoes were so wearable. Yet they had the look of something a little dressier and sexier.

I think I may have left them at the Westin at BlogHer. Can you believe it? I blogged about what an idiot packer I am. After leaving San Francisco and the conference, I headed up to Napa to spend some time with my folks. I didn't even fully unpack up there, so I really don't think I could have lost them there (at my parents' house). I'm thinking some housekeeping chick from the Westin with size 10 hooves is digging her sexy new shoes.

So, yesterday, when I went out shopping for a salad bowl for my sister, I wound up buying not one, not two, but three new replacement pairs. Hey, a girl's gotta' have some fun, right?! I am in mourning, after all...they were my favorite shoes of all time.

Dig 'em! The pair that looks similar to my old ones? Same brand! Bandolino.  Only this time, I got all three pairs for a little more than I spent on the first pair last time! HA! Ya' gotta' love TJ Maxx. Hit that store on the right day, and it's a gold mine. Wrong day, and it's a total bust! No salad bowl for my poor sister, but I'm sure digging my new shoes! They're not doing me much good stuck here on the elevator in my office building, but that's a story I'll be posting on our White Trash Mom site. You'll have to hop over there for that one!

Balanced Babe

Cooking with Fresh Herbs

At first glance, you might wonder what a chick who blogs about balance and boasts of being a White Trash Mom is doing writing a post about cooking with fresh herbs. Here's the thing.

Whether you grow your own (cheapest option...) or buy them at the store, fresh herbs go a long way to making something incredibly simple seem a lot more gourmet and taste even better! Here's an example.

Garlic Bread. You know the kind of garlic bread you get from the store that already has the stuff smeared on it, and you just throw it in the oven to warm it up?

Problem:

• OK, for one, it's just all right, if you're really honest.
• Second, it's incredibly unhealthy. And by that, I don't just mean it's loaded with fat. Most garlic bread is going to be on the fatty side. The kind already slathered up from the store, though, is loaded with saturated fat (often coconut oil, which is terrible for you) and those evil Trans Fats. It's a veritable heart attack in a bag!

Solution:

• Even if you still take a shortcut and buy the loaf of French or Italian bread at the store, cut it in half (lengthwise) and spread it with olive oil or even your own butter. I guarantee you that you won't use as much as they did at the store.
• Sprinkle it with garlic salt.
• Now for the fun part. Chop up your favorite fresh herb. I'm partial to basil or rosemary myself, but you can also use fresh thyme leaves, cilantro, parsley or chives.

The fresh herbs make all the difference, and you have turned an unhealthy, mediocre (at best) side into a simple but delicious treat! Sprinkling with a little freshly grated parmesan cheese is optional.

Other easy ways to use your fresh herbs are in salads, atop your favorite soup out of the can, as a topping on homemade (or even frozen) pizza, in scrambled eggs or omelets, and in wraps. The options are endless. Fresh herbs make easy dishes pop!

Balanced Babe

Parenting Mistakes and Missteps

Tonight at dinner, we had a little trip down memory lane. And not exactly the memory lane lined with rose petals. More like the one lined with a thorny rose thicket. At least we can all laugh about it...now, that is. It was a different story three years ago when Girl 1 was just turning 14, a still awkward 8th grader, and oh-so-primed for a big day.

I dug this post out of the archives of my White Trash Mom posts...

OMG! How Could I Do That?

So, year after year, October is the month from HELL at our house! I love my daughters, don't get me wrong. But having their birthdays one week apart during the busy back-to-school season is a huge ordeal every year. They both have a slew of activities on an ongoing basis (ok, my bad, I know…) - - - and then, the dreaded birthdays! And, worse, the dreaded birthday parties!

So, this year, my eleven year old thought she was making it easy on me. She chose a murder mystery party. All of the materials were available online. You just paid and downloaded. Sounds simple, right? Not so fast. Then, you need props, decorations, costumes, meals for the little monsters, and the list goes on. So, the day before the party, I went to a carnival supply store for party provisions. Thinking I had all the time in the world, I strolled along, contemplating each possible purchase. A hundred seventeen dollars to the perky lady in the red apron, and I headed to Costco for the food. Two hundred dollars and 892 calories later, and I was out the door. Damn, those samples are lethal.

I pulled into the school parking lot ten minutes late, knowing that my darling little cherubs would recognize that I'd been slaving away for "the good of the party". But I arrived to the surly and insistent stare of my almost-14-year-old. "So, what happened? Did they cancel?" she asked crossly. "What do you mean?" I replied. Her head spun around a couple of times. "My ortho appointment? 10 am?" she demanded. I nearly ran over the plaid girls crossing the parking lot. Panicked, I pulled over to an illegal spot and started hyperventilating. No time like the present to revisit all those samples I'd had.

Seeing my daughter's face, I knew that she'd already processed that I had totally spaced the appointment for her to get her braces off. There was no denying it. I was so screwed. I had forgotten! OMG! How could I do that? If you have a child with braces, you might have an idea what a momentous day this was to have been for her. But no, I BLEW IT OFF! I had no excuse - except, of course, that I had spent the whole day planning her sister's birthday party. Not to mention, scarfing down copious samples of pasta pockets, cheesecake, quesadillas, tortilla soup, pizza, Five Alive and Scope. No Brownie points there, believe me. And her 14th birthday was two days later. So, not only did she not get her braces off that day, she didn't have them off for her own birthday, either. I'm going to hell. WT Hell. With bells on.

Cocktail hour starts early at our house in October. Who needs a clock, really? Make mine a double - and hold the ice. And the mixer. Just give me the damn bottle.

Yeah, those were the days...So, tonight, Girl 1 reminded me that when it comes time for Girl 2 to get her braces off, I CAN'T forget! (duh...). Yeah, that would pretty much make me dead meat as a mom, now wouldn't it? Either that or just really set my white trash motherhood in stone...

Cheers,

Balanced Babe

So, year after year, October is the month from HELL at our house! I love my daughters, don't get me wrong. But having their birthdays one week apart during the busy back-to-school season is a huge ordeal every year. They both have a slew of activities on an ongoing basis (ok, my bad, I know…) - - - and then, the dreaded birthdays! And, worse, the dreaded birthday parties!

So, this year, my eleven year old thought she was making it easy on me. She chose a murder mystery party. All of the materials were available online. You just paid and downloaded. Sounds simple, right? Not so fast. Then, you need props, decorations, costumes, meals for the little monsters, and the list goes on. So, the day before the party, I went to a carnival supply store for party provisions. Thinking I had all the time in the world, I strolled along, contemplating each possible purchase. A hundred seventeen dollars to the perky lady in the red apron, and I headed to Costco for the food. Two hundred dollars and 892 calories later, and I was out the door. Damn, those samples are lethal.

I pulled into the school parking lot ten minutes late, knowing that my darling little cherubs would recognize that I'd been slaving away for "the good of the party". But I arrived to the surly and insistent stare of my almost-14-year-old. "So, what happened? Did they cancel?" she asked crossly. "What do you mean?" I replied. Her head spun around a couple of times. "My ortho appointment? 10 am?" she demanded. I nearly ran over the plaid girls crossing the parking lot. Panicked, I pulled over to an illegal spot and started hyperventilating. No time like the present to revisit all those samples I'd had.

Seeing my daughter's face, I knew that she'd already processed that I had totally spaced the appointment for her to get her braces off. There was no denying it. I was so screwed. I had forgotten! OMG! How could I do that? If you have a child with braces, you might have an idea what a momentous day this was to have been for her. But no, I BLEW IT OFF! I had no excuse - except, of course, that I had spent the whole day planning her sister's birthday party. Not to mention, scarfing down copious samples of pasta pockets, cheesecake, quesadillas, tortilla soup, pizza, Five Alive and Scope. No Brownie points there, believe me. And her 14th birthday was two days later. So, not only did she not get her braces off that day, she didn't have them off for her own birthday, either. I'm going to hell. WT Hell. With bells on.

Cocktail hour starts early at our house in October. Who needs a clock, really? Make mine a double - and hold the ice. And the mixer. Just give me the damn bottle.

Yeah, those were the days...So, tonight, Girl 1 reminded me that when it comes time for Girl 2 to get her braces off, I CAN'T forget! (duh...). Yeah, that would pretty much make me dead meat as a mom, now wouldn't it? Either that or just really set my white trash motherhood in stone...

Cheers,

Balanced Babe